The Life Of An Evil Genius
by Twoseater
Summary: Ever wonder what life is like for Jack Spicer, the evil boy genius? Well, being an evil genius isn't all its cracked up to be. It might get more risque further along.


I walked out of the house today, wincing as usual. I attempted to leave the house but ran into that wench of a mother I have.

"Well, if it isn't my fag of a son. I shouldn't even call you my son; you aren't even worth the title of human." She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest like she always did when I upset her. I had usually upset her by just existing most of the time.

"Listen mom… I just wanted to leave the house… I don't want to fight or anything… When I get home I'll clean the house or whatever you want, alright? Just not now, please…" I hung my head, my voice being almost a whisper.

"Do you think I honestly care what you want? That's so adorable! Oh jeez… I can't believe I just called you ADORABLE, even if it was mockingly." She groaned in disgust.

I cringed and tried to walk around her from the side. I barely got past her when she grabbed me by the wrist, gripping it as hard as she could. "M-Mom… Y-You're hurting me…" I choked out, terrified by now.

"Good, that's exactly what I was aiming for." She grinned evilly, smacking me across the face as hard as she could. She snickered when she heard me cry out in pain and smacked me again. "You're such a little faggot. Where are you off to with that make up on, little faggot? Off to see your faggot boyfriend?" She sneered.

"I told you for the last time mom, LEAVE ME BE." I yelled in her face, feeling the red marks from her smacking me as she had been speaking before. I took all of my strength and shoved her back into the wall, feeling tears streak down my cheeks from the red hot pain. She had shuttered in pain from getting thrown into the wall and walked back to me.

"You're going to regret that, faggot." She punched me in the face as hard as she could, giving me a black eye and I blacked out.

My black out had ended and I was already down the street. I looked back at the house and saw the couch sitting on the lawn and a table. I'm going to be so dead when I get home. "Jack-bots, assemble!" I yelled, five jack-bots flew towards me. "Can you guys go get my plane? I totally forgot to get it and Wuya is off being a wench somewhere..." They flew off once again. I sighed softly when I thought about Wuya missing that said event that had just happened.

I was supposed to be out of here by now. I was supposed to have so much money by now… Eighteen and still living with my parents, god I must be a faggot. I've NEVER even had a girlfriend, let alone my first kiss! I'm such a waste… I sighed, considering that I shouldn't beat myself up especially after what my mom pulled. God, I shouldn't even call her mom. More like a demon from HELL. Wuya is even nicer than her… I saw my plane pull up beside me. I thanked the bots and got in the plane, seeing that a shen gong wu had just been activated. I lifted off and the jack-bots followed behind me. Wuya suddenly flew into the plane and saw that a shen gong wu had been activated, going all possessed and crazy like she always did when a new one was activated.

"THE CANNON DE LOPEZ." She screeched into my ear. "I've never heard of this shen gong wu before…"

"Are you SERIOUS? Aren't you supposed to oh I don't know… Know ALL of the shen gong wu?" I groaned, an eyebrow cocked as I continued to fly the plane.

"Well you see… That master Dashi from the past sometimes creates new shen gong wu and comes to the present with the new ones, planting them as their inactive. So, you'll have to find out when you obtain said wu." She glared at him, floating as she usually did.

"Well well well… I always loved a good mystery!" I tried to seem all high spirited as I usually was, but I was too nervous about what was going to happen when I got home.

We landed at the site of the new wu and the Xiaolin dorks were already there. Great. My day couldn't get any better could it? I landed the plane and jumped out of it. "IT IS I, JACK SPICER. EVIL BOY GENIUS. Yada yada yada…" I sighed, placing my hand on the new wu just Kimiko did. "Xiaolin Showdown. Um… My monkey staff and your mantis flip coin. The game is king of the hill. Whoever makes it to the top of the hill and knocks the other off the hill wins." We both yelled GONG YI TANPAI! The ground rose up into a huge hill with smaller hills surrounding it and another large hill underneath the other Xiaolin dorks.

"MONKEY STAFF!" I yelled as a tail grew from my behind, my hands becoming furry and the same as my feet. I began to scamper up the hill, Kimiko flipping up the hill with her coin. The dorks kept yelling remarks of encouragement.

We both got to the top of the hill, one side was completely flat and was an endless fall so we both attempted to keep our balance. We both were getting ready to jump to reach the wu when Raimundo yelled "YOU AREN'T GOING TO WIN, MAMA'S BOY. YOUR MOM OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF RAISING SUCH A POOR VILLAIN."

Him and the other two dorks began to laugh loudly. My eyes went wide as I processed the thought, being reminded of everything she had ever said to me that was anything like that. Kimiko was saying something to me when I fell backwards. The conception of time and space disappeared as I continued to fall backwards into the black abyss. I finally stopped falling when the showdown ended, me winding up slamming into my back on the ground.

I heard all of the dorks aside from Kimiko laugh. "Jack Spicer, the clutz!" They roared with laughter and fell backwards. I stood up and sighed, walking back to the plane. As I walked back I swore I heard Kimiko ask which one of them gave me a black eye. Ha, none of them did, unless my mom was one of them.

I got back into the plane and heard Wuya lecture me about losing the wu and being so pathetic and yada yada yada. I blared some music in the plane as I flew back to my "prison". Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance played as I screamed the lyrics to it, my eyes welling up with tears. As the song ended I landed back in front of the house.

I walked inside and saw my dad standing there. "H-Hey there daddy-o…" I whimpered, looking up at the very large man.

"You're more of an idiot than I thought you were. Oh how you're going to regret ever existing after I'm done with you." He growled at me, mom standing behind him.

Dear god I must've just entered an all new hell.

WRITER'S NOTE: Hehehehehe. Cliff hanger, and on the first chapter too! God, this story is going to make me cry like nobody knows.


End file.
